These Double-Standards Somehow Still Exist In Many Relationships

Double standards can be detrimental to couples, and can exist in even the most solid relationships. A double standard is defined as a rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups, in this case to each gender. Are you guilty of enforcing old-fashioned gender roles?

It might not seem like a big deal, but these little biases creep in where you least expect them to, and can have a huge impact on how you and your partner treat each other. From who does the dishes to who makes decisions or pursues certain jobs or hobbies, double standards are everywhere.

Be careful if you notice any of these double standards in your relationship. Whatever ground rules you set, just make sure they go for both of you, and not just one…

Women Have To Be Homemakers

This is an outdated belief, because women can do anything men can do. Women are CEOs, doctors, and even work in dangerous work environments as heavy machinery operators. And while there are women who are perfectly happy to be homemakers, as is their right, there are those who want to do more.

If your significant other has this belief, regardless of if you are a homemaker or not, it may be best to have a conversation. Allow him to see that women can run the world if they want to.

Asking Your Significant Other To Change… And Also Asking To Be Accepted As You Are

If you are asking your significant other to change (be it personality-wise, wanting goals, or changing their outward appearance by eating healthy foods) without making an attempt to change yourself, that isn’t fair. This could make your significant other grow to resent you, which will eventually cause problems in your relationship.

There is always room for personal growth and improvement, but don’t ask them to change without asking what you could do as well. Or at least make those changes with them.

Rules About Who You Can Be Friends With

Let’s say you have a best friend who is a male, and your husband doesn’t like that you spend time together, but he has friends that are women and spends time with them without any complaints from you. Not only is it not his place to make those demands, but it is very unfair.

He may think you are cheating, but in reality, you just enjoy spending time with your friend. That in itself is an issue with trust that has nothing to do with your friends. You should be able to spend time with your friends.

Initiating The First Moves

It’s perfectly normal for both people to make the first move in a relationship, but sometimes one person may be upset with always having to make the first move. This pertains to being the one to initiate romantic gestures, including giving gifts and compliments. But it also pertains to constantly having to be the one starting things in the bedroom.

If this happens to you, be sure to show your significant other that you can do this. If you don’t, they may begin to feel as though you don’t love them anymore.

Guys Should Always Pay On Dates

Nowadays, men and women both pay for dates, and it has become the norm. If your significant other offers to pay for a date, you should let them. Women can make just as much money as men, so it doesn’t hurt to let them do something nice for you once in a while.

We’re in a new era where there’s zero shame in a woman treating her man to a nice dinner, and it’s incredibly freeing.

Men Must Defend A Female’s ‘Honor’ And Safety

Some women are strong and independent and don’t need a man to defend them. There are plenty of dangers in the world, so it is essential to know your limits. But you can also find ways to prepare. These include educating yourself with self-defense classes, instructional videos, and more to make yourself feel safer.

However, there’s also no shame in accepting help from those you love. If you are a strong and independent woman, don’t push your husband/boyfriend away if they try to help.

Men Have To Be The Breadwinner

This gender role is another one of those silly and outdated beliefs going back to centuries ago when opportunities were limited. Not anymore! There are situations where women choose to work while their husbands stay home to care for the house and children, and that’s okay. If a woman can work, she should be able to.

There is no right or wrong answer on what a woman decides to do with her life. It’s her right to choose if she’d like to be a mother, career woman, or both!

Exposing Insecurities

Let’s say that your partner comes to you and says, “I’m terrified of flying. We shouldn’t go on our vacation.” And you reply, “That’s stupid” instead of trying to comfort them or show them that there’s really nothing to worry about. This can lead to your partner losing trust in you and bottling insecurities inside.

If your significant other comes to you with their fears, try to reassure them, listen, and be understanding. At the end of the day, you wouldn’t want someone to do that to you.

Criticizing Appearances

Saying things like “you look fat” can be extremely hurtful. It’s only natural that our bodies change as we age or when we feel comfortable in a relationship. If your partner is always telling you that you look nice and you treat them poorly in return, they will lose their self-confidence and trust in you.

This can lead to breakups or divorce if you aren’t willing to treat your partner with the respect they deserve. And it’s really not about what you say, but how you say it that matters.

Meeting Each Other’s Needs

You may notice that your significant other ignores your needs emotionally but insists that you take care of theirs. This can lead to frustration and fighting. The best thing to do in this situation is to discuss this with them before the problems get worse and you feel as though you can’t turn to them when facing a challenge.

If things don’t go quite as you’d planned, be grateful you had this conversation with them now instead of 10 years from now.

Spending More Time With One Side Of The Family

You may start to notice that you’re spending more time with your significant other’s family than yours. It’s natural to get to know them and enjoy their company, but it’s crucial that you don’t begin isolating yourself from your family and friends. You should talk to your significant other and resolve any issues before they become a bigger problem.

It could be something simple like a statement being taken the wrong way, but there’s no way to know for sure until you have a solid conversation.

Spending Money

If your significant other has issues with you spending money but goes out and spends money on whatever they want, this is a double standard. Some couples keep their money separate to pay specific bills, but if your finances are together, you should be able to spend it on what you need if the funds are available.

That means if you’ve worked hard and want to treat yourself to a nice purse or night out, go for it. Your partner should understand!

Household Chores

If you are one of those people who dislike doing the dishes or laundry and assume that your companion will take care of it, you should reconsider. Especially if you are the one creating the majority of the mess. It is not your partner’s job to clean up after you. Household chores should be done by both of you.

If this process is new to you, it may be time to consider a chore chart or alternative system to decide who does what each week.

Arguing And The Inability To Let Go

As Elsa from Frozen once said, “Let it go, Let it go!” You may be guilty of this double standard if you can’t let go of what’s bothering you. However, continuing to bring up an argument long after it’s over is not okay, especially if your partner has let it go.

It’s essential to forgive, forget, and not hold onto resentment after an argument. Communication is key in all parts of a relationship.

Making Fun Of Clothing Choices

If you are guilty of making fun of your significant other for wearing certain types of clothing, then get upset if they say something about your clothing choices, you could be causing problems in your relationship. People wear certain types of clothing out of comfort or necessity, and all that matters is if they like what they are wearing.

If you’re the type who can “dish it out but not take it,” it may be time to reconsider your lifestyle and the way you speak to your partner.

The Bad Driver Argument

Women have gotten a bad rap over the years for being bad drivers, but this isn’t always the case. It’s rude and more than a little misogynistic. Not to mention that men can be bad drivers as well. We all know that one guy who absolutely refuses to stop for directions and then gets lost.

If your partner is continually telling you that you’re a terrible driver, then turns around and gets a reckless driving ticket, they might want to rethink what they say to you.

Making Time For Each Other’s Interests

Let’s say your wife has taken an interest in learning to play the saxophone, for example. You love to hunt, and she goes with you because you enjoy hunting. If you tell her that she sounds terrible when she’s playing and ignore her when she’s trying to show you what she’s learned, it’s not fair to her.

You need to make time for each other’s interests. If anything, maybe you can help her practice and join her at her next concert!

Making Excuses And Lying

It’s safe to say that honesty is one of the most important things to have in a relationship, but accountability is a close second. It’s never okay to make excuses when something needs to be taken care of, no matter the scenario. If you take care of the bills and don’t pay them, an explanation won’t change anything.

The utilities will still need to be paid. Lying to your spouse will only cause them to lose trust in you, and that will drive you apart.

Flirting And Accusations Of Cheating

If you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t be flirting with anyone except your partner. It’s also never okay to accuse your partner of cheating unless you have proof, and even then, you should have a respectful and civil conversation before you start pointing fingers. Just ask yourself this: do you trust them?

If you are the one flirting and accusing your partner of cheating when they haven’t done anything, you should figure out why you are doing it.

Secrets Are Meant To Be Kept

You may have seen the memes saying “sure I promised to keep your secret, but telling my best friend doesn’t count.” It doesn’t quit work like that in a relationship. If you tell your partner a secret and they decide to blab to their friends but always insist that you keep their secrets, it isn’t fair to you.

Don’t just assume it is women who like to gossip, either. If your partner breaks that trust, you may never feel like you can share with them again.

Lying Or Being Secretive About Spending Habits

Let’s face it: money can cause significant problems in any relationship, but if your significant other is spending money on things and not telling you what they are, it can make you lose trust in them. There is no reason to hide in a relationship, and you shouldn’t have to worry about what your partner is doing.

Discuss a plan to confide in each other about finances, whether it’s a joint bank account or access to credit cards or debit cards.

Withholding Intimacy

Believe it or not, it’s okay to be upset and not want to be intimate with your partner. Women usually get flack for this action. However, if your partner simply tells you to just get over it, there’s something wrong. You should never feel like you have to do something that you don’t want to do.

Talk to your partner if this problem arises, and if they are unwilling to listen, it may be time to end the relationship. Talking and finding the root of the problem will always benefit both of you.

The Blame Game

Manipulation tactics can be so subtle that they start to sneak up on you until it’s too late. If your significant other is always blaming you for their mood or abusive behavior and can’t listen when you’re upset, you should consider talking to someone. A situation like this can turn into something more abusive as time goes on.

Finding the root of frustrations can help, but if your partner is gaslighting you, it may be time to end the relationship before it becomes dangerous.

Humiliation

Trusting your partner is one of the most important parts of a relationship. You should never do anything that will humiliate them. That includes seemingly simple pranks like hiding their keys or taking a goofy picture of them without consent. If they confide in you and tell you something that would be considered embarrassing, please keep it to yourself.

You should never do anything to hurt your partner purposely. You should aspire to be their rock, not a bully who takes advantage of them.

Demanding To Know What You’re Doing

While everybody deserves to have their own life and hobbies outside of their relationship, there is no reason to hide what you’re doing from your significant other. The simple solution is to avoid doing anything that could be harmful to you or your relationship. What that includes is between you and your partner.

If your partner is doing this to you, it is a sign that something is wrong with them or your relationship because they feel the need to hide.

Criticizing And Questioning

If your companion won’t tell you why they did something but constantly questions you, there is something wrong. It could be the beginning of a dangerous game of gaslighting. There could be a reason for their behavior, and you should try to discuss it with them before one of you loses trust in the other.

Abusive relationships can be dangerous, and you should never feel like it’s okay to be treated that way. Criticism can be helpful, but it may also be hurtful.

Making Decisions That Affect You Without Asking First

But your partner demands you to check with them before you make any decisions, right? It’s normal to make plans together as a couple, but ultimately you are two individuals with the power to think for yourselves. If your significant other does something like this, it is a cause for concern.

Decisions should be discussed before being made, and you should never force your partner to do something that they may not want to do.

Overlooking Needs And Desires

Let’s say that you’ve had a challenging day with your kids, and the one thing you want is a back rub from your husband or wife. You ask your spouse to help you out, and they refuse because they want one first. This isn’t fair to you. You should never feel like your needs are less important than your spouse’s.

The best kinds of relationships are the ones where both of you get back rubs (both literally and metaphorically, of course).

Being There For Each Other

Relationships are a two-way street. Each person needs to be there for the other and help in times of need. If your partner only focuses on their needs and ignores yours, you can feel completely alone. It isn’t good to bottle up your emotions, and your partner is supposed to be a source of comfort when you need it most.

If you truly trust your partner, they should understand your concerns and be willing to make changes to make you happy.

Watching Your Partner’s Movies

A ton of people are guilty of this one. You may not want to watch “The Notebook” for the thousandth time or even like the same kinds of movies as your spouse. But you can meet them halfway. If they show an interest in watching movies you want, then you should definitely reciprocate.

You may even find that you actually like some of them. Mean Girls, anyone? You might have a secret favorite movie hidden in there.

Games With Intimacy

If you find that your partner is only interested in intimacy when they want it, you may have a problem here. If they ignore you when you want it and are only interested in their own needs, it may be time for a discussion to figure out why this is happening.

Intimacy can put a lot of stress on a relationship, but keeping the lines of communication open will help you to overcome any obstacles.

Using Your Period As An Excuse

Okay ladies, we all know that periods can be painful, but don’t use them as an excuse to avoid your partner if they are trying to help you feel better. Also don’t use it as a reason to be irrationally angry and eat everything in sight. It does more harm than good.

We’ve all been in that situation where you just want to be alone and relax. It doesn’t hurt anything to let your partner relax with you and try to find a way to help.

Men Checking Out Other Women

It’s normal to find someone other than your spouse attractive. It’s human nature. However, if you get upset with your partner when they do it but you are doing the same thing, there is a problem. Ladies, if this is happening to you, discuss it with your partner before it causes problems in your relationship.

You’re allowed to crush on Ryan Reynolds and even the guy you work with, as long as you respect the boundaries of your relationship.

One Partner Is Always Right

If you are one of those people who believe you are never wrong, it could cause problems in your relationship. It can hurt your significant other if you are continually telling them they are wrong, as you are dismissing them and their intelligence. As a partner, you should take their feelings into account.

If you are in a relationship and this is happening, it’s best to have a serious discussion with your partner before it gets worse.

Complaining About Each Other’s Family

It is rare to get along with everyone in your spouse’s family, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to complain about them without listening to your spouse’s complaints as well. Or to go on and on about how horrible his mom is when you know he really loves her. That’s crossing the line.

It is good to vent when you have an issue with the in-laws, but if your spouse has problems, don’t shut them down.

Women Can Yell At Men But Not Vice-Versa

There should be no yelling in an ideal relationship, but things can often get heated during an argument. If you shell out criticism but refuse to receive any back, you are causing turmoil in your relationship. It may help to take a breather and discuss the issue when you’ve calmed down.

If you’re both adults that are mature enough to be in a relationship, you can discuss your issue later without yelling!

Giving Compliments

If your spouse is continuously giving you compliments and you can’t reciprocate, it may cause problems in your relationship. It’s easy to forget about compliments once you have been with someone for a long time, but they are essential. As always, it’s nice to hear compliments and may help you feel better when you’re upset.

Try to dish out more than just appearance-related compliments too. Tell your partner how creative, smart, and kind he is. He’ll appreciate it!

Sharing Responsibilities With Your Children

The belief that women should be solely responsible for raising children isn’t right. Children need guidance from both of their parents. Changing diapers is often something that men don’t like to do, but they should help when needed. It is challenging to raise children on your own, and your spouse should be helping with the child they helped to create.

And don’t just be the fun parent, either. Find a gentle balance between playing games with your kids and instilling discipline as needed.

Guys Ignoring Messages

Playing “hard to get” is so high school and definitely not something two adults in a healthy relationship should do. It’s silly to ignore your significant other when you are perfectly capable of answering them promptly. Why would you cause unnecessary problems and stress in your relationship by not responding? Come on.

Communication is one of the most critical parts of any relationship, whether it’s in person or virtual. Remember to be available.

Communication Is Key

It’s often believed that women are overly emotional, but when men have a problem, it must be serious. People think that men should be tough, but in reality, they can become emotional too. Don’t fall victim to outdated gender stereotypes; hear a guy out if he needs to have a deep conversation.

If you or your partner is having issues, discuss them and find a solution. It’s just between the two of you.

All Women Should Cook And Men Can’t

Haven’t you ever seen Gordon Ramsay? Or any of the top male TV chefs? Men and women both can cook if they choose to do so. If you love cooking and your significant other doesn’t know how, then teach them! It will be something fun for the two of you to do together and may even strengthen your relationship.

Bonus: if you have kids, it’s a super fun thing to do for the whole family! Bake some delicious cookies and make it a family affair.