People Share The Moment They Knew They Were Done In Their Relationship

You might be starting to pick up on certain signs that your significant other has lost interest in the relationship, or you might be the one losing interest yourself. So the question usually becomes- when is it the right time to call it quits and move on?

Remember, relationships are a two-way street. If you’re unsure about the status of your connection, keep an open line of communication and watch out for obvious red flags, from either side. Thankfully, tons of people have been down this road before, and have taken to the Internet to shed light on how they knew when their relationship had run its course…

We Felt The Opposite of Each Other

I decided to try an experiment. I tested and found that her mood was consistently opposite to mine. When I would decide to be affectionate, she would be distant. If I made myself distant, she got more affectionate. I found I could flip-flop in the same day and get the same results.

It was pretty compelling evidence that it was pretty much a scam. It was either that or it was the time when she owed me about $2500 and spent her entire tax refund between receiving it and when she ended up seeing me later that afternoon. Reddit User: Freadan

“Because I Don’t Trust You”

Five words: “Because I don’t trust you,” uttered after a meeting to discuss (with four other people) a potential joint business venture in which he unexpectedly voted against me on a critical issue. In more than a decade of our marriage, I had never once done a single thing to warrant mistrust, neither marital nor financial.

Knowing that I didn’t have his trust honestly killed everything for me. After that, it was really just a matter of time and I was just thinking to myself “how do I get out of this marriage with the least damage to all concerned?” Reddit User: TumbleWeed48

It Had Run Its Course

I knew the relationship had basically run its course, but I was stubbornly trying to make it work, even though he was putting in zero effort. The final straw was when we were at a house party his cousin was hosting. He basically ditched me as soon as we got there, and I was left to my own devices.

Later that night, I was sitting out in the back by the bonfire and I noticed him standing off by himself having a smoke. I motioned to him to come sit next to me, and he said, “Nah, I’m good here.” I knew right then I was done. Reddit User: [redacted]

Tattooed His Own Name on Himself

He had his own name tattooed on himself. I brushed it off as quirky; it’s gotta be a joke, right? There’s no way a real live person could be that comically narcissistic, right? Long story short, he eventually started playing recordings of himself singing and playing guitar…while I was with him.

The cherry on top was that he never reciprocated and was by far the worst guy I’ve ever been with. Like, I did not know the depths of how disappointing the act could actually be. And I’m not even gonna go into the emotional disappointment. Reddit User: purelyparadox23

Laziness

We’re both busy and broke college students and rarely have time for fancy “dates” beyond our usual Netflix and takeout routine. We finally got this chance and we were going out for lunch and then mini golfing. We both agreed to dress a little bit nice.

I showed up in nice jeans and a fancy blouse. He wore sweats and an old, old sweatshirt because, and I quote: “My jeans were at the bottom of the laundry pile and I was too lazy to dig for them.” Some of you may say I’m overreacting, but obviously there was more to it than this. Reddit User: N7_NIghtingale

We Have The Same Boyfriend

A woman once had sent me this Facebook message that simply said, “It looks like we have the same boyfriend.” Months later, my boyfriend had asked me to see if I could figure out what was wrong with his computer, and he left me his logins and everything.

I proceeded to find hundreds of videos of him and other women along with Craigslist ads with pictures of the both of us saying he was looking for someone to join us. I had no knowledge of any of this. Worst part, he was a scummy sheriff for the county we live in. Reddit User: oNattyICEo

She Was The Real Victim

He is always the victim, and nothing is directly his fault. He also used his mental illness as a defense mechanism to any and all criticism, saying things like “you know I’m suffering from ______, why would you go out of your way to make me feel worse?”

The specific event, however, was when he broke up with me. The next day, he then texts me saying that I should’ve realized it was his just mental illness talking, and not him. Don’t date people who do this. It’s incredibly toxic. Reddit User: diguisaurus

 It Wasn’t Me in the Picture

He was actually stupid enough to try and convince me that the pictures he had on his phone were of me. We weren’t even very serious yet but we were beyond the point when he should be getting certain pictures from other girls. But I didn’t even care about that.

It was that he actually thought so little of me that he really thought I wouldn’t even be able to tell. What, I wouldn’t know that 1) the pictures weren’t me and 2) I wouldn’t “remember” having sent him those pictures? Come on. Reddit User: PMmecrossstitch

Her Dad’s Warning

We drove to Boise, Idaho to see her family one time. When she introduced me to her father, he leaned in to me and just whispered in my ear, “Run. Run now and never look back.” I laughed because I thought he was joking and never gave it another thought.

Four years later we are separated, and she has some dude living with her in the house I am paying for while I am sleeping on my friend’s couch. One day I brought the kids over to see the grandparents. We got to talking about her and he reminded me that he warned me and I didn’t listen. Reddit User: twohandreacharound

He Hurt My Dog

He one time kicked my dog when he thought I wasn’t looking. I cleared out of there so fast that he didn’t even see me leaving. We were married and had been for a year at that point, but I never looked back. I wasn’t in the right place to stand up for myself back then.

But I’d be a liar if I said I’d stand by if anyone was going to hurt my dog. Interestingly enough, that act of leaving and then choosing to live alone for a few years before dating again empowered me in ways I’d never have even understood before doing so. Reddit User: rmcowriter

 I Was The Side Piece

I was more of a side piece and I actually knew it. I thought if I stuck it out long enough, then I would be the only one, ya know? But I guess that’s what people in my situation tell themselves. Well, I came home from work and she wanted some. I wasn’t in the mood, so I said no.

Then she just kept trying to force the issue, and apparently I finally told her no in my “officer voice.” She backed off but then proceeded to try to tell me details of her exploits with this other guy, pulling up pictures of them being together around me, etc. Reddit User: Wolfzomby0

You’re So Vain

I dated someone that was super into her looks, would wear lots and lots of makeup, always talked pretty negatively about other women’s looks, watched the Kardashians as much as humanly possible, and talked about what was going happening on Instagram constantly.

And oh my god, as I’m typing this out, I can’t even remember what the hell we ever did while we were in the same room together. As soon as our love life got boring, our relationship was over. Makes sense now, but at the time, I tried like hell to make it work yet simultaneously, I had no idea what to do. Reddit User: luisc123

That Pinky Toe

One of the first things I remember her saying to me was I should check out her toe. On it, she had a little camel tattooed on her pinky toe. She was an exotic dancer once upon a time. She was seven years older than me and just went through her second divorce.

Both of her ex-husbands were military dudes. All my friends saw straight through her being a total trash heap and told me I could do better. But I was a naive, desperate 19-year-old. She was insane, but for the most part a sweet girl. Reddit User: [redacted]

The Vasectomy

She wanted me to get a vasectomy because she didn’t want to have kids. That was fine with me. I had never really felt the huge urge to have them either. Then she changed her mind and had me reverse it…two more times. It definitely took a physical toll on me.

She completely disregarded her job and always told her boss she was in Scottsdale visiting her sister to get days off. I’m pretty sure she was cheating on me with her assistant, but the ultimate breaking point was when she broke my $2000 plasma screen TV. Reddit User: [redacted]

Not a Red Flag

There wasn’t one particular moment in the relationship that happened. I just realized that even though I thought he was a good person, that didn’t necessarily mean that he was the right person for me. All we were doing was making each other miserable by degrees.

We were breaking each other down one little disagreement and eye roll and theatrical sigh at a time, until we were just going through the motions. We had a very unpleasant conversation where he tried to convince me I was wrong, and that was the sign I was doing the right thing. Reddit User: Portarossa

Familiar Patterns

I had a moment when I realized that we were going to have a fight in about a week. And finally, some part of my brain just went “Yo, we’ve definitely seen this pattern before.” Sure enough, the pattern was the same, like clockwork. I could literally time it…

Two days of him being distant, three days of him being overly romantic (but in a very hollow, not-meaning-it sort of way), and then two days of him trying to push every button he could until he finally drew me into an argument. Took me another 8 months or so (I am not a wise one), but eventually I did muster the courage to kick him out. Reddit User: Flumpet38

Unrealistic Optimism

He wouldn’t have adult conversations about our future at any point when we were together. He wanted to move to Ireland for school and have me drop everything and move with him. I had no education at the time and was in a stepping-stone job to jump-start my career.

His optimism that everything would work out was incredible but pretty unrealistic. I could not just drop my friends, family, job, and responsibilities to move across seas and live in a different country. I was only 19 at the time. Come on, dude.” Reddit User: DetroitEXP

He Wouldn’t Let Me Understand

When we would be in the middle of an argument, he would sometimes phrase his comments in ways I didn’t understand. I would ask him what he meant or ask him to say it another way. He would respond with the classic lines of  “Forget it” or “I’m not going to repeat myself” or “Don’t worry about it.”

It was as if it wasn’t worth his effort to try and help me understand. So we were having an argument, and he did the same thing where he wouldn’t explain his comments. And I realized that if he wasn’t trying to help me understand, he didn’t really care enough about the relationship. Reddit User: harmonylane

He Got Kicked Out of His Apartment

He got kicked out of his apartment for threatening a woman (long story there, but it was an apartment through the school he got kicked out of). I took the cats to my parents’ house, and the last time we spoke, he was screaming at me to drive over an hour to get him cigarettes.

My friend overheard the conversation we were having, and I never spoke to him again. He’s the type of guy to try to help once and then just give up, despite the evidence that it takes time to try and develop a healthy relationship. Reddit User: misfitx

 I Just Don’t Want to Be a Spinster

I was 18 years old, and I had just gotten this brand new skateboard. Went over to my boyfriend’s apartment, where he was watching anime or something. I show him the brand new skateboard, and he’s like, “Aww, you wanna go ride it?” like he’s being encouraging.

I say yes, he’s like “fine” and gets distant and cold. Camel’s back was broken. I walked out the door and never spoke to him again, and in response to the idea of us getting married, “I just don’t want to be a spinster.”  Nope. Not a good reason to get married. Reddit User: oo1o

I Was Happier When She Wasn’t Home

Every time that I tried to talk to him about our issues, he would start to cry and say I was making him feel like a bad person. Also when I would tell him that I wasn’t happy in our relationship, he told me that I was being silly because he was happy.

He also just shot down every single suggestion I would make by saying, “That’s stupid.” When he went away on a week-long vacation, I realized that I was actually happier when he wasn’t home and that I didn’t want him to come back. Reddit User: [redacted]

She Was Creepy

He started talking about marriage when we’d been dating for less than a year. Then he said he didn’t like me going out to see my friends. Then once he came to pick me up from a club completely unannounced because he decided it was time for me to go home.

The last straw was when we’d both been drinking. I went to the bathroom when we got back because I really needed to go badly. I locked the door. Then he unlocked it from the other side and decided that this was a good time to kiss me. Reddit User: [redacted]

She Hated My Butter

This is really specific, but he really hated the brand of butter I used. It was annoying but not at all a big deal, of course. Then one day he brings over this huge piece of Russian bread. He breaks a piece off for me and is eating his piece with some jam.

I spread some butter on mine, and he gets mad and tells me not to eat that bread with butter. It’s stupid, right? Well, I know it’s stupid, and I knew it was stupid then. Made me realize that if such inconsequential things irk him so much, it’s symptomatic of a larger issue. Reddit User: WhoaMikerson

Bad Use Of FaceTime

My ex-girlfriend one time FaceTimed me when she was drunk a few years back. She was crying in the bathroom because some girl from high school kept on calling her names. During this time, I could hear knocking and some guy saying they should talk.

I thought that was pretty odd. It turns out that the guy knocking was the guy she cheated on me with that night. She was apparently crying because the girl she went to high school with walked in on them and started bashing her all night for it. Reddit User: turnrhe

She Alienated Me

My ex-girlfriend had tried to alienate me from my brother. Generally she was also very jealous or upset whenever I implied that any of our friends were more similar to me than she was. She had this bizarre fixation with trying to be as similar to me as possible.

She told me I was the only way she got any enjoyment out of life, and openly mentioned how she’d hurt herself if I left her. It was only when our mutual friends pointed out how unhealthy this was that I really recognized that I was being abused. Reddit User: number-47

She Took Advantage of My Parents

She moved in with me and my parents. And my parents allowed us to do this on the condition that we’d save the money we would have been using for rent and utilities to make a down payment on a house. Six months down the line, I asked to see how much she had saved.

I wanted to start house shopping and found out that she had a total of $300 to her name. I have no idea where she spent her money, but I decided I could never be with someone who would blatantly take advantage of my parents like that. Reddit User: brclifford

A Verbal Warning

Interestingly enough, my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend cornered me at my place of work right as I started hanging out with him, and she WARNED me about him. I brushed it off and wrote her off as crazy. We dated for two years. Sure enough, literally everything she said came true.

Turns out, he was the crazy one. Her warning always lived in the back of my mind and eventually helped me get the nerve to kick him out. I’ve always wanted to run into her again and thank her and apologize for calling her crazy. Reddit User: Sassquapadelia

Physical Violence

Realizing that we weren’t getting anywhere in an argument one time, we decided to deal with it in the morning. She kept fuming to the point that she would keep turning towards me and would punch me in the kidneys. I woke up honestly unable to breathe.

I don’t react well to violence and just got dressed and left the apartment for the night. She apologized in the morning, and we talked it out and in some warped logic agreed that since she is so petite, her hitting me was not a big deal. Nah, it is a big deal. Reddit User: saadazaidi

Had Too Much

The biggest red flag should have been the first two nights we ever officially hung out together. I picked her up from her friend’s house. The entire way home, she just kept telling me how much she wanted to make a move on me and how bad she wanted me.

She couldn’t even keep her eyes open though. I told her how uncomfortable I was with doing anything because she was so drunk and I was so sober. The next day I told her what transpired, and she teased me and called me names for not doing it. Reddit User: SwiftyLugNuts

She Thought He Was Hot

He was fresh out of juvie. He had no job, and he constantly talked about how hot his female friends were. In hindsight, I’m honestly furious at teenage me for putting up with that trash. But I thought he was SO HOT. Looking back, he wasn’t even that attractive.

Even if he was, his personality was definitely ugly as all get-out. He’s of course in prison now, for god knows what, and probably will be for the rest of his life because he can’t go more than two weeks without totally screwing his life up. Reddit User: rlw0312

He Had a DUI

Only dated this guy for three months, but the red flag I missed was that he previously had gotten a DUI. He owned his own successful restaurant and was a very beautiful man. I didn’t find out till the end, but he didn’t have his license back yet and he was drunk every night.

He honestly would drive tipsy all the time. An officer had actually pulled him over once while he was tipsy, but due to him being so close to home, the cops actually decided to let him go. That’s when I knew we probably shouldn’t date. Reddit User: froggurts

Narcissism

My ex once told me that he was writing a book about himself viewed through the lens of women that he’d previously been with. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was probably the biggest red flag ever that just spelled “NARCISSIST.” But in hindsight, I should have known.

He thought of other people, particularly women, as just like they were a cast of characters in his life. He also insisted he was a devout Christian but said several things that implied that he thought God and him were more like peers. Reddit User: sarahsarahpnwpnw

Life Dealt Her Bad Cards

“I’m not looking for a relationship, I don’t have a lot of friends, and I never talk to my parents,” is what she said to me. She was a very attractive and sweet girl. Life had really dealt her a series of bad cards, and I thought that I could help her through it.

It never works out, and it’s sad that this is all that some people will ever experience.She cut it off with me fearing that she would hurt me. I’m not sure how I felt about it at the time, but she probably did me a favor. Reddit User: prezident_kennedy

She Wasn’t a Talker

She could barely hold a conversation for more than a sentence or two. Usually if we hung out, we would just watch movies to fill the awkward silence, but man was she honestly beautiful. Seriously, may have been one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met, though.

But I dated her for about 10 months. I should clarify; she didn’t have a problem or anything. We met in college. She had very little useful knowledge of any kind. I learned a lot about what I value in a relationship from this woman. Reddit User: [redacted]

The Drunk Call

He would end up drunkenly calling me at 4am on multiple occasions to tell me how much he regretted that he cheated on his ex-girlfriend. He nearly slipped on ice and died. He also would have no problem talking about how he fantasized being with my friends.

And the bonus on top of it: we broke up because he ghosted me for a week until I was crying texting him asking what I did wrong and he said: “Sorry, I just can’t be attracted to people I’ve been with too many times.” And then that was that. Reddit User: birdcafe

You’re Not Allowed

My ex-boyfriend would delete pictures of singers I liked at the time (Andy Biersack) because he said, “They could show up here and ask you to marry them! You’re not allowed to have ANY pictures of other guys on your phone!!” It was pretty nuts, honestly.

My friend asked me if I’d ever date a girl, and I said, “100% Ruby Rose, absolutely love her.” And my ex jumped in by saying, “You only like her because she looks like Andy Biersack; you’re not allowed to see anything with her in it!!” Reddit User: TheTrenchCoatMafia

Manipulation Tool

While I was cleaning our apartment one time and vacuuming, I had found a notebook that was under our bed. I didn’t know what it was or if it should go in the closet or in the office (spare bedroom), so I decided to take a quick peek inside the notebook.

The first and only page I opened to was a hand-written mantra about how intimacy should be used as a device for control in a relationship, complete with scenarios and dialogue. We didn’t last long after that. The relationship had a lot of problems. I just kind of let the relationship dissolve. Reddit User: [redacted]

Doesn’t Know How to End It

He ended up surprising me for my birthday right before we started dating (super sweet, right?). But then I had overheard a conversation that he was having between him and my former best friend that was along the lines of not feeling bad about something.

They were saying not to feel bad about cheating on their exes because they find it hard to break up with someone. Nearly 2 years later, he cheated on me with, you guessed it, my best friend, because he didn’t know how to break up with me. That, and the “I don’t do relationships” line. Reddit User: FableSpring