Here’s Why Dating After Divorce Is Awesome

When “I do” turns into “I’m done!”, the process of separation can be an emotional minefield, even in the most amicable of circumstances. You’re probably tired and all out of trust, so even the thought of dating can take you from laughing hysterically, to pulling your hair out. Nevertheless, time heals most, if not all wounds.

After a while, which is faster for some than others, you might notice someone who catches your eye. Regardless of whether you’re just recently divorced, or have been on your own for quite a while now, you might want to consider getting back into the dating scene.

So why bother getting back into dating and romance? Well, keep reading to learn some common reasons why dating post-divorce can be a very healthy choice…

You’re Worth It

It can seem contradictory to what you’re thinking, as your last relationship didn’t last forever, but in truth, you absolutely are worth love and companionship. You are worth the time, energy, and resources it takes to date. After your breakup, you probably feel down in the dumps, and that’s understandable.

But after you are done crying, pick yourself back up and show the world you’re worth it! You will certainly grab people’s attention with that attitude.

You’re More Expansive Than Your Last Relationship

Maybe your previous partner made you feel small. Your ex might have had controlling tendencies that limited your real value. Perhaps he or she was a bit of a bully, but now it is time to spread your wings. You, as an individual, are more significant and wonderful than any “box” your previous partner may have tried to confine you inside.

Define yourself! You are unique, and there is no one else out there quite like you. That also means that you have a great chance of matching with someone unlike anyone you’ve ever met too.

You’re Bound to Learn Something New

Maybe you’ve never been axe throwing but your new beau is a member of the World Axe Throwing League (yes, it is a real thing!) and they take you to their stomping grounds as a date. Even if things don’t work out with that particular person, you learned something new.

You may just pick up a new skill or hobby that you usually would not have ever tried. So it’s worth it to get out there and hang out with more people.

You’ll Have a Better Idea of What You’d Like in a Partner

Maybe you and your ex were high school sweethearts that had fun at the prom but fizzled out after the 10-year reunion. Instead of knowing what to like in a partner, you barely even knew yourself! Now that you are older and wiser, you can learn from your past mistakes.

Perhaps your former spouse was glued to the Xbox, and your new fling mentions their love of gaming. Been there, done that. You’ll already know to swipe left!

You’ll Make New Friends

After everything you’ve been through, it might be nice to make a new friend and start fresh. As you date, you will meet lots of people. Some will be definite “no thanks!” but others will be great friends if nothing else. Either way, there are people out there who want to meet you.

You might as well grace them with your presence to see if you want them to be old acquaintances or future best friends.

You’ll Grow as a Person

No one falls into the same river twice. Same goes for people. The person who was at the altar is different than the current you. It’s a welcoming feeling to shed your old skin and start anew. As you get back into the dating world, you might fall in love with yourself more than anyone.

After all, you are a great catch! And loving yourself first and foremost is a well-known secret to future success in relationships.

You’ll Recognize Your Strength

Use this new dating thing as an opportunity to flex those muscles, both literally and figuratively. You are in complete control of who you date! You might also have total say-so over the details of the dates. Make sure you cover all of the important what, where, and when questions.

And certainly get out of there as soon as you want, too. The one in control here is you, even if it takes some practice to learn that.

You’ll Go On Some Adventures

Despite the ups and downs of dating post-divorce, one thing is for sure; it will not be dull! You got on board with this crazy ride, so buckle up. However, instead of crossing your arms, furrowing your brow, and complaining of when it will be done, have fun. Put your arms up in the air and holler out!

Everyone will adore the smile on your face. You’re here for a legendary ride, so you might as well sit back, relax, and enjoy it!

You Can Finally Travel the World

Have you been waiting to do some traveling, but work, kids, and well, life got in the way? Now is your chance. Maybe you will meet that special someone who will take you on epic adventures you never even dreamed of! Likewise, should you partner up with someone who is into traveling, most likely they’ll want you along.

Before you know it, your next date is exploring a waterfall in Hawaii! If this is something you’re into, there are tons of people who share this opinion.

You’re an Example

This notion is especially true if you have children. It’s a benefit to them to see their parent and role model not allow the past to dictate their future. Your choices will also assist them in their own dating lives down the line, or currently if they are all grown up.

You can help guide them through difficult times in their relationships by allowing them to watch how you navigate through yours equally.

You’ll Learn the Power of No

This one-word phrase is a complete sentence and can further punctuate a feeling. It can be hard to say and can even make you feel guilty. Say it anyway and mean it. Whether you are turning someone down or telling yourself no, make sure you follow through, because it is just that important.

When you are unwilling to lay down hard boundaries, you’ll find that your relationships suffer and aren’t fulfilling in the way that you need them to be.

You’re Inviting Someone into Your Life

It can be challenging not only to meet people after a divorce but even to have the desire to! However, by inviting someone new into your life, you are taking the right steps to be yourself again. You should not shut yourself out from the world and become a reclusive introvert, especially if that was not your personality before the wedding.

Try to guide yourself back into the frame of mind you were in before your relationship started. Find yourself first and go from there.

You Can Date Someone Opposite From Your Ex

Maybe you’ve always wanted to be around the energies of a person who works the land, but your ex was an executive in a high rise somewhere. It is time to go looking for your agro amour. Even if you think you have a preference, perhaps it is time to try someone completely brand new. They say opposites attract.

You might discover something new about yourself or even that your tastes have changed over time without you even noticing.

You’ll Become Savvier with Apps

This one might sound a little silly, but it’s true. In this day in age, everything is online. If you don’t know Tinder from OkCupid, it’s time to learn. A quick search will yield you so many answers, and you’ll learn exactly what “swiping left” and all the lingo means.

If that isn’t your thing, you can discover where and how to chat with singles in a relaxed manner. You’ll be expanding your horizons either way.

You’ll Combat Loneliness

Humans are like tribal animals, and inevitably, we will become lonely. Being socially active and dating can help alleviate this. Even if you don’t spark a romance, you can meet new people to hang out with for different occasions. One friend can be your concert buddy whereas another is your art museum companion.

Studies have shown that loneliness affects brain chemistry, so seeing new people is genuinely good for mental health.

You’ll Reinvent Yourself

Not unlike a phoenix, you will rise from the ashes of this relationship and move on to bigger and better things. See what this new path has to offer for you, and you might surprise yourself! Likewise, your new partner will be grateful you were available enough to enter their life, too.

Loving yourself is important, and your new partner will be pleased to see a revitalized you that has grown since your last relationship.

You Might Want to Get Married Again

Definitely do not rush this one, but it’s a valid reason all the same. Depending on your age, you might not even be middle-aged and divorced. That’s okay! All that means is that you get a second chance to make everything great. Your second marriage might be the first for your new spouse.

There is no reason not to get married again, regardless of your age, but you don’t need to feel obligated to do so if it’s not right for you.

You Might Never Want to Get Married Again

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a partner, even a serious one, and not marrying them. There are also some married couples who willingly live separately. Sometimes, those labels ruin everything. Instead of obeying the traditional norms of society, certain partners just have to do what they want.

If you’ve found someone you’re fond of but can’t stomach the thought of another marriage, follow the plan you make together and everything should work out just fine.

You’ll Finally Get the Pet You Wanted

Was your ex allergic to dogs? Maybe they just hated cats. You probably forgot all about it, but you actually love animals and always wanted a pet. Perhaps your new date has a dog and wants to take you to a dog park! This fun idea sure sounds like a win-win in our book.

It can be hard to find someone who has the same ideas about animals that you do, but now you’ve got another chance to bring that furry, scaly, or feathery friend into your life.

The World Will Continue

Whether you take a break from things to focus on yourself and your work or jump right back into the dating scene, the world will continue to turn. Your friends and family will receive promotions, get engaged, and have children. Seasons come and go, and some will even pass away.

You can remain stagnant or turn with it all! You’ll have to take a careful look at your life and consider how you want to proceed.

You Crave the Attention

Some of us enjoy flattery and being hit on by cute people. It’s okay to admit; at least you are honest and know what you want. Whether it is getting a compliment in the crowded bar or hearing sweet nothings from across a fancy table, you will probably get a bunch of that if you start dating again.

If this is the type of attention you want to chase, then go for it and own it! Now is the perfect time to get out there and be a regular flirt.

You Enjoy Socializing

It can be uniquely different socializing with friends versus a date. Sure, it all starts with fun and games. You two are talking about your favorite band or a new movie you just watched. Suddenly, was that a wink? The slightest touch of skin can instantly turn into flirting. What were we talking about again?

Dating can be fun in that way. There’s no reason to tie yourself down again any time soon, so get out there and enjoy the social aspect!

You Want Someone to Take Care of You

From breakfast in bed and “good morning” texts to creative date ideas and pet names, men and women alike enjoy the feeling of love. You don’t want to cook dinner every day or mow the lawn constantly. Having someone to help you with daily chores and weekly tasks is ideal.

Sharing the burden of life together is a great reason to bring someone else into your world. They probably have skills and abilities that you may find yourself lacking in.

You Enjoy Caring for Someone Else

Just as lovely as it is to kick your feet up and take a break, maybe you like being the nurturer. If you went from cutting the crust off sandwiches to making meals for just one, you miss giving back to those you love. Go ahead and start dating, because someone else is just waiting to appreciate you.

Treating yourself and treating someone else are two totally different things; this is really a feeling you can only get from being close with someone else.

You Still Want a Family

If your partner did not want kids and you did, that could be enough to end in divorce. Knowing this, you can choose to date someone who equally wants children. On the other hand, if kids are a deal-breaker in your book, you will avoid dating someone with children already.

Sometimes people don’t fully realize which side of the fence they land on until they’re already in a relationship. This gives you another chance to match with someone compatible.

You Deserve Happiness

Happy marriages do not end in divorce, even amicable ones. You should not give up looking for happiness, even if that means it is with a new partner. Likewise, your ex should find someone they equally feel happier with regularly. It might hurt at first, but you will adore the difference after you move on.

Divorce does not mean failure; it simply means that you have another chance to give that happiness to yourself that you deserve.

You’re Not What Was Broken

Even if you feel this way and have internalized this thought, it’s not true. Sure, you have flaws just like everyone else, but that doesn’t mean you should stop talking to people. You can focus on yourself, improve some of the not-so-great things about you, and then show the world all of your best traits.

There’s nothing you can do to make sure that other people take care of their own flaws; the best you can do is improve yourself.

You’ll Learn Everyone Is Different

Even though you’re no longer married and you possibly did not split amicably with your spouse, every other person in the world is not going to act this way. Though in many cases you’ll end up with more duds instead of matches, there are some gems out there for sure.

However, you have to give people a chance in order to figure out the good ones and separate the wheat from the chaff.

You’ll Set Healthy Boundaries

Maybe your new date is as clingy as a barnacle, and you really need your space. This opportunity is a great chance to discuss what your relationship needs are and how to ask for them. Don’t be afraid to say what you mean, and mean what you say, the second time around.

It will save both of you a lot of confusion in the long run. There’s no sense in beating around the bush or being shy; this time around, go for clarity as soon as possible.

Punishing Yourself for the Past Will Not Change It

Maybe your marriage dissolved for mostly reasons you had no control over. Perhaps you made some terrible choices throughout the relationship yourself. Either way, it does not serve you now or in the future to deny what you really want: a mate and partner who loves you for you.

The only thing you have influence over is the future. So stop focusing on the past except to learn from it and move on with your relationships.

You’ll Gain Companionship for the Golden Years

After getting a divorce, you don’t want to jump into dating too fast. After all, you and your first spouse probably dated and were engaged for quite a while. Now think about how long it might take to meet someone new, then go through all of those steps with them as well.

After your first “hello,” getting to know each other will take time, especially before the thought of engagement and possibly marriage. Start dating now.

You’ll Keep Your Mind Fresh Thanks to People Skills

Chances are good you and your ex stopped dating after marriage. Maybe that was the beginning of the end of your union. However, did you know that dating creates new neuro-pathways in your brain? This type of social interaction will keep your “people skills” refreshed, making your mind more active.

This means that in addition to possibly finding new friends and partners, you’ll be keeping your mind sharp and healthy!

You’re a Sharer

You might notice you like dating more than being married. Besides, instead of going somewhere by yourself, you always have a new flame to hang out with for activities. Do you absolutely hate going to the movies or dinner alone, as you prefer the company of another to discuss, laugh, cry, and gripe with?

Wine usually tastes better when shared anyway. You’ll build a new pool of friends and partner candidates to share all these activities with.

It Can Lead to a New Ex

If you haven’t been divorced for long, you probably don’t want yet another ex on your list. However, if you haven’t dated in a really long time, you might enjoy letting someone know, “Sorry, it’s you, not me.” Of course, you want to let them down in a gentle way.

The good news is that you still have the power to choose who you want in your life. Remember that you’re the one in control here.

You’ll Enjoy Dressing Up and Going Out

When was the last time you turned heads? Pull out that nice three-piece suit or short dress from the back of the closet. Become a showstopper, even for one night. Even if you start the evening out by dating yourself and going solo, you probably won’t end the night that way.

Get ready for the endless compliments; you deserve it! It might feel odd or out of place at first, but have confidence in yourself and how awesome you’ll look.

You’ll Gain Emotional Intimacy

As humans, it is essential we have emotional connections. You can be emotionally intimate in varying ways in different relationships for sure, but it’s crucial to exchange this with a partner especially. When you meet someone and feel instantly connected, like it is chemistry, that is something to pay attention to and build on.

While it’s true that we always have to think with our heads a little bit and not just our hearts, it’s also true that sometimes we can get a sense of something, and we should trust that too.

You’ll Be Able to Rebuild Hope and Trust

If your marriage crashed and burned, it’s easy (especially right at the beginning) to hate the thought of happy endings. However, the sun will come out and shine once again. Dating and experiencing happiness with others can offer a way to trust and open up again. Remember, you’re worth it!

You ill find yourself growing, changing, and becoming a better and more healed person after you get yourself out there again.

You Want to Break the Cycle

Were your parents divorced? What about your aunts, siblings, or other family? More and more, we are becoming aware of trauma patterns and experiences being in our literal DNA. Rising above the awfulness and being open to possibilities can not only change you but can also have a profound effect on your children too.

Don’t give up on love, regardless of your past experiences. You can find someone to be with for the rest of your life, even if it takes a couple of tries.

You’ll See That Complete Rigidity Is a False Sense of Safety

Swearing off dating “forever” and making statements such as “I don’t need anyone!” offer no actual safety. Instead, they put up more walls and barriers, which will eventually come down and hurt more than taking chances. Even if you say some of these things out of anger, don’t believe them.

Talking in absolutes of never and always is not healthy or accurate. You are closing yourself off from the possibility of fulfillment and happiness in doing so.

You’re Up for the Challenge

If you are the type of person who won’t take “no” for an answer, you only view this divorce as a bump in the road instead of a complete failure. Your journey is not over, so keep trying until you get it right. It’s okay that things didn’t go as you expected the first time.

The good news about encountering bumps in the road is that you’re making your way down that road; bumps are inevitable along the journey.

Conquering Your Fears Will Make You Braver!

Let’s face it: you are scared to date, and rightfully so. Nobody wants to get their heart broken, and nobody wants to live through those emotions. However, you can’t feel love if you don’t put yourself out there, either. Doing the exact thing that you are afraid of makes you courageous!

Try to push past the initial fight/flight/freeze mindset into the beautiful unknown and create your own possibilities when it comes to dating again.